Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.
'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.'
Watson says, 'I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.'
"Holmes replied: 'Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!' "
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”
There once was a man named George Dub,
Who debated and mis'rably flubbed.
He was beat fair and square,
But false claims were soon aired
By those sore-loser, cry-babe Repubs.
Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.
> こんにちは。私は英会話教室に通っています。先日、レッスンで Limerick 五行戯詩についてやりました。「lets make Limerickｓ about your teacher
s」というテーマで homework を出されたのですが、日本でいう川柳みたいなものですか？まったく意味が解らず困惑しています。
‖○リメリック（limerick）とは？
‖『a humorous verse form of 5 anapestic lines with a rhyme scheme
‖aabba』(Free Dictionary.com http://www.thefreedictionary.com/より）
‖☆五行でわかる日本文学 英日狂演滑稽五行詩(リメリック)より
‖ http://www.amazlet.com/browse/ASIN/4327385093/beraberaengli-22
‖
‖ Mishima Yukio 三島由紀夫
‖
‖ A monk set a temple alight
‖ And gave a young geisha a fright
‖ "The Golden Pavilion's
‖ Insured for a million"
‖ Cried the self-obsessed, mad acolyte
‖
‖ 坊主が火を点けお寺が炎上
‖ これはたまげた 芸者のお嬢
‖ 「金閣寺なら心配無用
‖ 火災保険がばっちり適用」
‖ この学僧さん やっぱり異常
He is the great Japanese challenger
Who took on the pugnacious Salinger
To him we're be'Holden
For a translation that's golden
And a Caulfield who's raunchy and mad at ya!
He is the great Japanese challenger
Who took on the pugnacious Salinger
To him we're be'Holden
For a translation that's golden
And a Caulfield who's raunchy and mad at ya!
"Untranslatable" meant nothing to a man
Who brought Finnegans Wake to Japan.
Yanase toiled for years
To reJoyce the mind and ears.
A feat that delighted [tout le monde] !
"Untranslatable" meant nothing to a man
Who brought Finnegans Wake to Japan.
Yanase Japanized proper
James's jumbled jabber
To reJoyce the delighted [tout le monde] !
He is the great Japanese challenger
Who took on the pugnacious Salinger
To him we're be'Holden
For a translation that's golden
And a Caulfield who's raunchy and mad at ya!
"Untranslatable" meant nothing to the man
Who brought Finnegans Wake to Japan.
Yanase Japanized proper
James's jumbled jabber
To reJoyce the delighted [tout le monde] !
<<< Murakami Haruki 村上春樹 >>>
He is the great Japanese challenger
Who took on the pugnacious Salinger
To him we're be'Holden
For a translation that's golden
And a Caulfield who's raunchy and mad at ya!
"Untranslatable" meant nothing to the man
Who brought Finnegans Wake to Japan.
Yanase Japanized proper
James's jumbled jabber
To reJoyce the delighted [tout le monde] !
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck one, and down he run,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
(etc)
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon,
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
To "Japan" (I think) also means to "Japanize".
and if so, the following scans better:
> Yanase Japanned proper
> James's jumbled jabber
3japan
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): ja·panned; ja·pan·ning
1 : to cover with or as if with a coat of japan
2 : to give a high gloss to
- ja·pan·ner noun
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke30.htm
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a cat.
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten.
It was almost as if he hadn't dreamed anything at all. The only evidence that he had that he had had a nightmare was the terrible feeling he had in his gut. ...
After 9/11, while listening to Art Bell one night, a caller called in and related a very similar dream to the satanic one I had that he had had three weeks ...
hod
Etymology: probably from Middle Dutch hodde; akin to Middle High German hotte cradle
1 : a tray or trough that has a pole handle and that is borne on the shoulder for carrying loads (as of mortar or brick)
2 : a coal scuttle
[hod illustration] http://m-w.com/mw/art/hod.htm
Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer and Whinbad the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer and Binbad the Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer and Hinbad the Hailer and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer and Vinbad the Quailer and Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.
Peter T. Daniels wrote:
>>
>> (Btw, [a] and [a:] are never contrastive, right?
>> I smell a linguistic anecdote.)
>
> Length isn't phonemic in English generally. If there were two words distinguished only by vowel length, it would turn out to be a side-effect of something else, such as r-deletion or "voicing" of the following obstruent.
I tend to believe that the length is a bigger cue in distiguishing between the following minimal pairs.
