My colleague said to me that I should interact with many people to know the pleasure of interaction.
She worried about my reserved and secretive character.
I knew I have a difficulty in communicating with others before she pointed that out.
I continued to work to improve my character.
Perhaps I should show my efforts and growth to her so that she can be relieved.
I can do better.
I think who knows what motivates himself is the most promising learner.
I accept hard work to be a more mature man who can live beautifully.
I'm really secretive.
I don't want to share my true feeling and idea wlth others around me.
Perhaps some past experiences make me behave in such a way.
Often, it seems to me that my preferences are totally different from those of others.
As usual, I participated in the English class.
My favorite classmate was absent and I really missed her.
Perhaps I should let her know my affection toword her and give contact information or just talk with her more.
The time I can share with her is very limited now.
My perspective changed gradually.
Recently I feel like working hard to get promoted.
I'm not sure what made me rethink my way of living.
Perhaps it's caused by my increased confidnce.
Due to the some successes at workplace, I'm now more confident than I was before.
I'm now in a goal setting phase.
I sometime spared much time for thinking about a next mid-term plan.
It seems to me I should study for 簿記1級 so that I can demonstrate my competence in accounting.
I should keep making efforts to hone my English skills.
After I made progress in English, I'm somewhat vulnerable to lukewarm satisfaction.
It is a really dangerous seduction.
I should pay a sufficient attention so that I won't be ensnared by that.
I'm sure I could do my task much better after some practices.
Recently, I'm highly motivated to be a competent worker.
It seems to me this motivation is partly boosted by the love for a woman.
I applied for TOEFLibt test.
I should do my best to get an acceptable score.
However, I find it somewhat difficult for me to concentrate on study for TOEFL.
There are a lof of things to do.
I should establish a plan so that I can avold spending much time on thinking about what I should do now and next.
Recently, I spent a lot of time on thinking about my life plan.
Distracted by various thoughts and worries. I couldn't study as planned.
Perhaps this situation is partially caused by my failure to establish a relationship with the woman I like.
I could identify that something is wrong with my current life plan through that experience.
Failure is not so pleasant but I think whenever I can identify my weakness I should keep optimistic view about my self.
Only after knowing the weak point, I can make efforts to overcome that.
In that sense, through a failure I succeed in getting a good hint to improve myself.
It is recently that I realized that my growth speed at workplace was accelerated significantly.
I'm sure I will soon catch up with colleagues much older than me.
By Imitating excellent action made by my colleagues, I can absorb a lot of skills and knowledge.
Although I established my growth philosophy almost a years ago, it is recently that my experience demonstrated that my theory is right and I was on the right track.
I can have an optimistic view about my future now.
Leave from a comfort zone, get new skills, and live well!!!
I recently found out that learning basic IT knowledge is quite interesting and can be very practical.
My life is filled with IT blackboxes such as a computer, smartphone, Internet, server, network, memory.
With some fundamental IT knowledge, certainly I would be able to find some alternatives by which I can dramatically boost my productivity!
I realize I spent a lot time checking and deleting e-mails.
It might be a good idea to stop accepting a kind of mail magazines when I can stop it.
I unsubscribed some mailing lists.
Recently, I spent more time on learning IT knowledge such as Macro of Excel, Access, and Javascript.
They are really interesting and I'm sure I can handle my assignments at workplace much more effectively with mediocre level of IT knowledge.
However, when I participate in a new English class, I felt my English skills are below my former level.
It is due to the lack of the practice.
I found out that as soon as I decrease the time I allocate to practice speaking in English, I start losing my fluency and composing speed.
It is a serious fact. If I am serious about keeping and improving my English skills, it is difficult for me to focus on any other area than English.
TOEFL examination day is now appoaching.
That means I should concentrate on preparing for TOEFL.
However, recently I'm not so highly motivated.
This is primarily because I got a cold.
Another reason is that I lost clear vision of my career and started thinking about how I should lead my life from now on.
Although there are many things to do, I'm sure getting the satisfiying result on TOEFL is vital for me to graduate from English learning.
Without doubt it will enhance my confidence and motivate me to make more efforts to improve my self and to realize my dream.
Should I continue to work for the current
association?
Should I change my job?
I'm not sure.
It depends on how new personnel system will be operated.
If current seneority system will linger, hard working is unlikely to be requited.
Although it is quite clear what I should do now, I cannot concentrate on what I should do recently.
It seems to me I'm wasting my precious time by thinking about an unanswerable question.
The result of the TOEFL influence over my next to do list and my future options so I should do my best to prepare for the examination.
However, I continued to worry about my future. I wonder how I will lead my life, whether I will have a partner, whether I can find my current career significant, and whether I can be satisfied with my life without adding major changes to my current mindset and perspective.
So many things to be considered there are!
That's the life.
On the other hand, surprisingly enough, many young people don't seem to be serious about their life or think about alternative choice they have.
Are they contented with their current life? Won't they regret anything when they pass away?
As far as I'm concerned, I'm not sure.
Thus I will do my best to lead the possible best life for me.
Anyway, in the short term, I should do my utmost to acquire a satisfying TOEFL score.
That's why I'm typing now! More often than not, actions can be a better source of motivation and resolution than thoughts.
I took TOEFL on Saturday.
Because I got a cod and did much overtime in the week before the examination, I felt that I should have practiced more in advance.
To be honest, it was foreseeable that I would fail to ensure sufficient time to prepare for TOEFL in the week just before the examination day.
I should have studied more in much advance according to a study plan.
The more I practice, the more proficient I would be as an English user.
That's a quite obvious idea.
However, as an old maxim says, easier said than done.
I think the score for this time would be about 98. That is slightly below my target score.
I might have to retake the test to get a satisfying result.
That's why I'm now typing in English. The amount of the opportunity makes a great difference in my growth speed.
As soon as I stop writing or speaking in English on a regular basis, my skills will soon become appallingly low!
It is a fact that shouldn't be ignored
Although I was pessimistic about the result of TOEFL, actually I got 102 score.
That's was rather higher than my expectation and I felt there was still much room for improvement.
Since I thought I would have to take TOEFL again to get 100+ score, I registered TOEFL before my score report became available.
I will take TOEFL again this coming Saturday.
The fact I successfully got 100+ score made me much more confident than before.
Now, I'm confident about my English skills to the extent that I consider MBA as a not so distant future option to me.
I took part in a couple of MBA events including info sessions.
To my surprise, some of the Japanese Alumni of Cambridge Judge Business School had a strong Japanese accent and their English was far from perfect.
It seems to me I can catch up with them at least in terms of English skills!
Referral and Tuition are two main obstacles that I have to surmount to get enrolled in business school.
Of course, GMAT score and GPA can be problem to me but I don't worry so much about them.
Working experience is one of the more serious problems than them because I don't work for a renowned company nor I have managerial role.
However, as Mark Twain said, confidence makes everything possible.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure!
I took mock TOEFL to get accustomed to TOEFL's format.
I recorded myself responding to the questions in the speaking section.
To my pleasure, I felt my speaking capability was much boosted.
My response is quite intelligible and there were not so many pauses nor repetition which prevented listeners to understand what I wanted to convey.
I'm on the right track! I'm convinced that I can be a proficient English speaker soon.
Although it is widely known to Japanese English learner that getting a score higher than 23 the in speaking section is really challenging,
I'm confident about getting that coveted score in not so distant future.
As I studied English so keenly, my brother asked me if I have a plan to be an English teacher. I answered "No" to him.
English learning is a source of my confidence.
By utilizing English skills and self-confidence, I want to actualize a sort of a big vision.
However, I have yet to set any specific vision I'm going to pursue after I wean myself from studying English.
Today I purchased ipad. It can be a good device to read electric books written in English because it has a good searching function. So far, I'm not sure whther that is the case or not. Without doubt, paper books give much less damage to my eyes than electric ones. However, introducing something new to my life is a nice thing. I shouldn't get stuck in a rut. I should experiment various things to optimize my lifestyle. Otherwise, I will regret many things when I end my life.
From time to time, it occurs to me that I should change my employer to acquire a better evnironment more competent colleagues, and opportunity to leave my comfort zone. However, colleagues I work together currently are nice and have a good relationship with me. The problem is not about human relationship but that of business. I cannot get convinced that the business we offer to a society is highly significant to the extent that I feel like devoting my life to keep that business operated.
Recently, I seldom use my ipad.
It is simply because there are some copied books to read and I didn't start reading electric books with my ipad.
When it comes to web surfing, ipad is far from the best device because it doesn't have keyboard.
Although I have registered for TOEIC SW, I haven't practice English writing and speaking sufficiently to get a possible highest score to me.
It seems to me I have some important items on my to do list. Sometimes, I feel like stopping English learning to concentrate on other things such as designing my career path or finding a partner.
Fortunately, I succeeding invinting a female coworker to dinner. She accepted my proposal. She come across as extroverted and gregarious.
This is a big milestone to me.
Recently, I listen songs of 椎名林檎. Her song has unique sounds. Although I don't like all of her songs, some impress me and I really enjoy them.
I like energetic song because I need the power of music when my willpower is depleted or I get frustrated. My recent favorvite song is OSCA. Music video available on the youtube is also stlmulating. I like that too. By the way, I had a performance appraisal from my manager yesterday. He said that he evaluate my competence and motivation highly but that it is unlikely for me to get a satisfactory score for this time. This is how seniority system works. It's far from ideal human resource management system.
I changed my job in January!
I was seeking a more exciting environment where I can work with highly competent coworkers,
I used to work for a stable but declining association.
At the end of the day, I couldn't be satisfied with unexciting job, I wanted to grow speedily even if that growth is accompanied by hard work.
So far I enjoyed working for a new workplace. I will do my best to demonstrate my competence to get promoted.
I feel that I've got incredibly strong and resilient in comparison to myself in my childhood.
Recently, I got attracted by a woman. She is older than me and have high EQ. She is adept at praising someone and her smile is great. She often calls me by nicknames she makes by herself. I want to be her partner.
I think romance is an important part of a life. I hope I can learn many things and get closer to my ideal with her.
The woman attracted me left the company in May.
久しぶりに日本語で書こう。英語勉強のpriorityはもはやがた落ちしている。英語は有用だけどそれを勉強している気持ちよさで現実を逃避してはいけない。
若手がそれよりも優先すべきことは対人力、優秀な人とたくさん会うこと、稼ぐ力をつけること（技術力／営業力／マーケ力）だろう。
今の会社は外資で人の出入りは早い。現在の部門では既に私がエースだ。
最近は従来からの苦手分野だった対人力を鍛えようと思っている。とにかく人と会わないと。
街コンで出会った当初は人当たりが良くて可愛いだけにしか見えなかった女性が色々な人と会ったり企画したり努力していることを知り心打たれる。
その人も元来それほど社交的な人ではなかったらしい。やはり人は変わるということなのだろう。
私自身も１月の転職からほぼ別人と言えるほど変わったんじゃないかと思っている。少しずつだが確実に不確実性に対する免疫が上がり、未知の領域に飛び込む自信がついてきている。
これは非常に大きい前進。知力＋行動力でとことん突き抜けてやりたいという思い。
今の会社に残るべきだろうか。それとも、私を評価してくれているクライアント会社に飛び込んでみるか。その会社は今の勤め先より格上かつ凄いスピードで成長している。これは間違いなく大きなチャンスと言える。
こういう問いは考えていても意味がなく、とりあえず内定を取ってから考えればいいはず。
最近、行動や試すことによってすぐ解決できる問いを思考で解こうとする非効率さにようやく気付いてきた。不確実性に対する恐怖が生産性の低い思考へと駆り立ててしまうんだろう。
Power of yet Bias for Action 行動せねば！
３社目で働き始めて二か月程度になる。
２社目での経験が私をタフにしてくれたおかげで、１社目直後ではありえなかったスピードで適応できた。
早くも評判も付いてきていて、改めて自信→成功体験→リスクテイクというサイクルが大切だと再認識
あとは仕事以外のところでも成果を出していきたい。
苦手分野の人間関係で、女性と映画や水族館に行くことができたのがここ半年の個人的な大きなマイルストーン。
ちょっと情けないが、私にとっては大きな一歩。自分の人生を生き、楽しもう。
We are our choices.
peter wardのa new history of life読み終わった。地球は10階程度絶滅的状況を経験してる等面白かった。そして将来的には地球は太陽に飲み込まれることも確定している。その頃は火星が暖まって住みやすくなるのか。その前に地球は二酸化炭素が減りすぎて植物が死滅し、結果として動物が死に危機的状況になるらしい
土曜はブレードランナー、ブレードランナー2049、life of pieを見た。音声配信でブレードランナーを話す。面白くないと言う人もいて感性の違いを感じた。
日曜は生まれが9割という遺伝の本や、遺伝子組み換えの本を読んだ。映画第九地区、メッセージ(arrival)を見た。音声配信してたら、本を読む原動力を聞かれて面白かった。本を読むのに理由があるのか。楽しいから、実用的だから、の二つか。
