Hi, Hopless Grad student.
Iread your e-mail and I understood what you feel about. Certainly, it's hard for you. I can't imagine this feeling because I was bad at studying int the school. But I believe you are all right. However it's difficult, I think it's challenging. I know how you feel. I also want to say such a negative thinking, if I have bad things. Chin up! Even though it is hard, you have a dream. You can make it, if you have some difficulties. Trust me. The dream makes people cheerful and positive. Now, I know you are not good, but you should go for your dream. If you can focus on your dream, everything will go well. If you have any question, please feel free to ask me.
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